Tag Archives: wine

Ode to Jonathan on His 30th Birthday

Oh, my beloved Jonathan, you’re one of my favorite people and when you turn 30 it’s a really big deal; but what can I do to honor you and accurately portray how I feel?

I wish I could have hopped on a plane to see you in Atlanta for the real celebration; but, sadly, I’m broke and we live in entirely different parts of this great nation.

So, stuck in Brooklyn, I pondered, “What’s a girl to do?”; and that’s when I realized my only choice was to compose an ode to you…:

We didn’t have much time together in high school before we graduated in 1998; but we kept in touch — even though we went to college far, far apart — which surely must have been FATE.

I have fond memories of the 69 Boyz blaring from Javy, which is what you named your car; and you said it hurt your heart when pictures of me surfaced at a Florida Gators bar.

(I swear I didn’t know they were playing UGA that day!; I had a homesick friend from Florida, but felt like a traitor and wouldn’t have otherwise been compelled to stay!)

You were mesmerized by the Wall of Lisa in Auntie Leslie’s hall; and a waiter called me “jailbait” when I was dining at Chevy’s with y’all. (…that’s you and Katie…)

You listened to me freak out in a parking lot when a teetotaler caught me with a bottle of wine; and you helped me unearth a pink bikini in Miami that — shockingly — looked fine.

You were my date to a wedding when there wasn’t a straight boy in sight; and then I bowled barefoot and passed out on you in the car home that night.

My own father joked (to you!) that I’d have to be tackled and sedated on *my* wedding day; and, if anybody understands what that truly means, it’s you, my friend who’s gay. (I’m sorry! Bad rhyme!)

Bring it On always makes me think of you; and one of my favorite text messages of all time was when you wrote, “Wisconsin smells like poo.”

You’ll always be my buddy Jenelope; even though (or directly because?) you’ve never big-worded me.

So here’s to another decade I know will see you in good stead; Love — one of your biggest fans! — LaFred.

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Filed under baseball, birthdays, Javy

Pie News: An Astro’s Guilty, Lots of People Don’t Have Jobs, Astronomers Had a Big Find in the Desert, & Shackling & Biting is No Way to Solve an Argument.

Javier Lopez’s former teammate, Miguel Tejada, was sentenced to probation and community service for lying to Congress about performance-enhancing drugs. As he prepares to return to spring training and ultimately talk to young people about his inspirational life story, I’d suggest — don’t hate me — Apple-Pear White Wine Pie. There’s a lot of juice (get it?), but he can also pair it with the Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc or other fruity white wine that he uses *in* the pie. Not only do I love pie/booze pairings, but it might take the edge off if he’s nervous about speaking in front of crowds. A nice (and legal!) bonus.

In other not-so-happy news, the total number of people claiming unemployment benefits is now 5.56 million — the highest ever (or at least in records dating back to 1967). Ken Haedrich calls the Coconut Cream Pie in his book “uncomplicated, delicious and simple” and that seems to me to be appropriate.

And…astronomers say they that for the first time they have matched a meteor (full of tiny diamonds!) in the remote Sudan desert with a specific asteroid — in other words, they caught the first shooting star ever. (Making Simply Red incredibly jealous?) That would make this the perfect time to indulge in some 5-Star Chocolate Delights, no? This Candy Bar Pie sounds a lot like Take 5, which was once my favorite candy bar of ALL TIME.

And in odder news, a Connecticut woman was arrested and charged with assault after handcuffing herself to her sleeping husband to resolve an argument and then biting him. Such a crazy, desperate act deserves a dramatic pie like a meringue. But since she’s out on $400 bond, I’m going to assume she has a lot on her mind, so I’d recommend Haedrich’s 10-Minute Lemon Meringue Icebox Pie. He says it’s a “embarrassingly good facsimile” and requires very little work. (The secret? Store-bought curd and graham cracker crust.) It might also do her image some good to “waltz in, the very picture of composure, carrying a fresh-from-the-oven lemon meringue pie.” Although I imagine her husband maybe won’t be one of the people at that dinner party.

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Mary, Rhoda, the Girls & Oscar

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Thank you for being a friend.

These words were slated to ring out repeatedly in my apartment this weekend during a Mary Tyler Moore/Golden Girls pre-Oscar marathon. We ended up taking a rain check, but had planned to order Italian food (Sicilian food?), eat cheesecake and drink rosé (seems like something the Girls would have liked as well as a wine Mary and Rhoda must have enjoyed?).

My oenophile friend who works at a wine store in Alphabet City (which isn’t really called that anymore, is it?) recommended the 2007 Forchir Pinot Grigio Rosadis. What’s more, she said there are plenty rose-tinted bad boys under $20. So! We won’t have to resort to a box after all when the time comes…

But when I started thinking about cheesecake, I realized I have plenty of cheesecake recipes — cappuccino cheesecake; lemon cheesecake; pumpkin cheesecake; peppermint cheesecake…even raspberry cheesecake brownies — but I don’t think I have one for a good ol’ classic New York-style cheesecake. A quick search on Epicurious turns up a recipe from Lindy’s that looks pretty good: New York cheesecake. 5 packages of cream cheese is a little intimidating though. And I’m afraid it will be too tall for any of my springform pans. The square pan seems like *maybe* it’s a little bigger? But, still…I wonder if Lindy’s has larger-than-life pans for *its* cakes?

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Filed under brownies, cheesecake, wine