Tag Archives: Bachelorette

Dead Pitch #4: Birthday Eats

Granted, the weakest of the bunch. But can I really be blamed? ‘Tis September…

No one may care about them again until they break up or until the next season of The Bachelor begins, but Bachelorette Ali’s birthday celebration from Roberto last week included a cake presented on-air during her morning TV segment for Fox 5 San Diego, dinner at Nobu and champagne at the Hard Rock Café.

All in all, not a bad way to ring in 26. I just made plans to go to Atlantic City and try Bobby Flay Steak to, err, not ring in 26. Birthdays are good excuses to let yourself eat whatever you want or to try out a new place. And…we could have asked readers about their most memorable birthday cakes or meals?

Image via normanack/Flickr

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My Journalism Career, Which Never Properly Got Off the Ground and Could Not Provide Health Insurance, Dies at 8

I am feeling particularly dramatic. So it’s time for an obit:

I’ve never been in a situation like this before — I’ve never encountered a problem I could not tackle with enough elbow grease. No matter what challenge I’ve faced — be it AP Calculus or playing high school basketball or moving to another country by myself — I’ve always been able to grit my teeth and emerge successful from sheer determination to not fall on my face. (Granted, “success” is a relative term. Take basketball, for example. But, even then, I think I humiliated myself substantially less my sophomore year — even actually scoring once and knocking down nine rebounds in a single game…even if it was against the Mississippi School for the Deaf…)

But getting a job after J-school (…and internships at Good Housekeeping, Martha Stewart Living and sort of the Huffington Post…) has been nothing like that. I have failed. Repeatedly. And it continues to this day with no end in sight.

And, sure, I’ve been the recipient of plenty of concerned, “Don’t give up!”-emails from friends and family who have listened to my belly-aching for 26 months…but, at a certain point, the issue of putting one out of one’s misery must be raised, no?

I mean, sure, it’s an inspirational story to hear of the one-armed girl who dreams of knitting sweaters…and, heck, if that’s what she wants to do, she should go for it. But, at a certain point, if she can’t knit sweaters, is it really civil/kosher/advisable to let her go on struggling indefinitely? And at some point maybe we need to accept that it’s best she put down her knitting needles because it simply isn’t her lot in life to knit.

As callous as this analogy may seem, I made a list of my own one-armed endeavors. And I determined that at least 90 publications have said, “Thanks, but no thanks,” to me since May 2008.

To put that into perspective, that’s rejection an average of 3.5 times per month — or basically once a week — for over two years. And my poor little ego can’t take it anymore.

But…what now? Is writing/reporting in fact my sweater-knitting? (And because I’m feeling particularly sorry for myself after another stupid rejection, I can envision editors from Christmas Past unanimously exclaiming, “Yes!”)

So…where does that leave me?

Teach for America? I like kids, but…doesn’t sound like there’s a lot of room at the inn these days.

Mail order bride? I’ve been reading Stieg Larsson novels lately, but perhaps it’s worth the risk?

The military?

Fast food?

Retail management, like Frank on the Bachelorette who is about to announce he cheated and make Ali sad in paradise and drive her even further into Roberto or Chris L.’s arms?

Moving in to my parents’ casita and waiting for my maker to call me home? (Which maybe wouldn’t be such a bad thing, right, Gothamist?)

I don’t have an answer. But I’ll say this: Unlike Herb on the Next Food Network Star who battled his demons and was able to tell the judges two episodes ago that he thinks he is successful, I feel like a huge failure. And I’m going to be 30. And what do I have to show for it? Two degrees and a whole lotta debt? And a list of 90 publications that don’t want to hire me?

The list is by no means comprehensive — my computer crashed last year and I could have very well lost a number of Word documents. I’ve also applied for positions at some publications numerous times. But…I think it illustrates fairly well the effort I have put into acquiring gainful employment…and the inevitable letdown that has resulted after being rejected so many times. (I gave a pass to those companies that have declined to hire me but have graciously allowed me to freelance for a living wage…)

Here she blows:

AMNewYork

AOL

Aspen Magazine

Associated Press

Baltimore Sun

Beauty Blitz

BoardIQ

Bloomberg

Bloomingdales

Blush Media

BonAppetit.com

Buddy Media

CBS Interactive

Chicago Tribune

Conde Nast Traveler

D Magazine

Daily Candy

Deal News

Delish.com

Dow Jones

Economist.com

Episcopal Life

Equinox

Family Circle

Fast Company

FundFire

Field and Stream

Flavorpill

Food and Wine

FoodandWine.com

Food Network

FreshDirect

FundFire

Gael Greene

Gary Rivlin

Gawker

Good Housekeeping

Gourmet

Grub Street

Hachette Filpacchi Media

Huffington Post

Ignites

iVillage

Kiboo

Ladies’ Home Journal

Light the Night

Macy’s

MainStreet.com

Marie Claire

Martha Stewart Living

Mashable

Mediabistro

Metro New York

Mets

Miami Herald

Minyanville Media

More

MTV

NBC

New York Daily News

New York Post

New York Times

Nibble

Outdoor Life

Oyster Hotel Reviews

OZOLife

Parents

PastryScoop.com

Popular Science

Rachael Ray

Ralph Lauren

RD.com

ReadyMade

RealSimple.com

Refinery29

Reuters

Saveur

Seattle Times

SeedMagazine.com

Seeking Alpha

SF Weekly

Shape

Shecky’s

Southern Breeze

Star Chefs

Tan Sheet

Tango Mag

Teen Vogue

The Knot

Time

TimeOut New York

Times Picayune

TMG

TravelandLeisure.com

Tyra Show

UrbanDaddy

USA Today

Village Voice

Waterfront Media

Weight Watchers

Woman’s World

WomansDay.com

wowOwow

Yelp

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Filed under blogs, Food Network, Martha, Mississippi

Søttende/Syttende Mai

Future Miss NorwaysSo…this past weekend, there was a parade in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn celebrating Norway Day, which I have read commemorates the signing of the Constitution of Norway (…and which established the nation as an independent entity). Norway also apparently just won the Eurovision song contest — so I guess it was a good weekend to be Norwegian.

I went to the parade with a J-school colleague (and Bay Ridge native) who also has Norwegian roots. (Although I should note it’s not entirely clear *how* Norwegian I actually am. My paternal grandmother was said to be 100% Norwegian…but as her mother got knocked up on the ship over from Norway, she never knew her actual father. Her mom said he was a Norwegian sailor, but because she never had the extremely fair complexion that the rest of us are known for, my aunt suspects her mother’s father was actually from somewhere in the Mediterranean. So…long story short, I’m anywhere from 1/8 to 1/4 Norwegian. Which still makes me a legit parade-goer, I hope.)

When I lived in Alaska, I met a woman from Norway who had met her Alaskan husband while studying at the University of Sussex — which, as you’ll recall, is my alma mater. She told me that it is very popular for Americans to go back to Norway, searching for long-lost relatives. And as my paternal great-grandmother was one of, like, a dozen children, it’s entirely possible that I still have family there.

It really would be great to go to Oslo someday, but in the meantime, I’ll have to settle for Bay Ridge. It was a very happy parade — my friend bought Norwegian flags and it was kind of cute how everyone in the parade got excited when they saw *our* flags and waved *their* flags. (And then Creepy Pants on the Subway tried to use my new flag as an excuse to talk.)

After the parade, we headed to a Norwegian deli that was serving a special May 17 menu that included hot dogs (which sounds authentic! At least for kids!) as well as a stew and what my friend referred to as the Norwegian equivalent of White Castle (some sort of patty on bread with tomato and lettuce) and a potato dumpling thing with some kind of meat in it (pork? Beef? Could have been either). I wish I could remember the names…the potato dumpling was especially a kind of stick-to-your-ribs-type dish…which my friend mused must be because it’s so darn cold up there that you need calorie-heavy food to fuel your whatevers. And I tried to think of some sort of Alaskan equivalent…but failed. (I had a roommate at Sussex who was from Finland…and from  her, I learned that the Finns don’t like the Swedes [in part because everyone always asks them if they are Swedish] and that Finland looks a lot like Alaska.)

And, speaking of hot dogs…I hate myself for admitting this on a number of levels, but after watching Jillian’s debut as the Bachelorette, I’m sorta jonesing for hot dogs now. (It could also be because I ran into some folks from the Luxury Spot in Williamsburg this weekend and we all went to a nearby watering hole and there was free BBQ that included veggie dogs…which sort of whet my hot dog whistle, I guess.)

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Filed under Alaska, Brooklyn, holidays, hot dogs, pork